Justin Hall's personal site growing & breaking down since 1994

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dream: 5 january 2001

uneventful night of updating my web site and analyzing my relationship with my online fling Melissa. I had been in a sauna earlier in the evening.

i'm at some kind of conferencea at large hotel. dennis is there, playing half-life on the palm pilot. joanne is there, ice skating down a mountain. samantha from high school is there, she's a flight attendant.

i'm with some jews and some arabs, laying there talking about politics. we begin dancing to and arabic song for peace. it becomes a circular kickline. it's a great feeling that we are group dancing without planning to.

i retreat to a watery grotto of the hotel surrounded by snow. other members of the party are sneaking off to find snow or love.

now i'm in the plush hotel interior. studded maroon leather. i'm trying to write my speech on my laptop but it's not coming naturally.

i ascend to higher floors. Amy and her friends are sitting around. it's become clear that she's wrapped up with an ex-boyfriend, Tim.

i'm sitting in a room with a few of amy's friends. amy's not there. i rise up to approach Tim. He's blond with short curly hairs and a sallow look to his large head, t-shirt and sweats. he is at a refrigerator. i am belligerant. "look at me tim" there's a fight coming fast. then i notice the fridge is full of creamcheese and little cheese wheels. i stop provoking and say, "hey, what's the deal with all the cheese?" people laugh

i begin collecting my possessions but i'm not doing a good job. My things are in a few different rooms in this large hotel, each of which has some of amy's friends hanging out in it. i can't find my laptop or my power source. clothes are hanging out. i scream at the top of my lungs. i'm breaking down.

I feel consumed my jealous rage and angry lonliness. I see amy and I begin to rail against her. she habbles over towards me - she's already been crippled by my rage. her legs are bound up in serious traction - plastercasts and metal riggings. she tries to kick me with her legs, she can't quite reach. her mills/female friends urge me away, push me away, they're upset at what I have done and want to do to amy.

i join jay downstairs. i'm totally wailing. he's sympathetic. we take a walk down near Rush and Cedar and State in Chicago.

a slightly plump dirty blonde young woman in skeleton body paint runs up to me on the sidewalk, speaking some kind of spanish, asking for my help. It seems to be a joke. then her female friend approaches from a cab and points to a group of young men coming. i'm supposed to stand between the young men set on violence and these two young women. I begin to decide how to defend them. I wake up.

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