May 25, 2004
A Few Weeks Buildup
I think it's been weeks since I had an orgasm. It's been long enough that I can't remember. I think I was with someone else, a friend, and we were touching each other - it was a conscentual, even a mutual orgasmic evening. After that? Maybe once alone, maybe.
I moved out of my house. So my personal, private, intimate space has been lost. I think about re-establishing that on the road sometimes. But I'm mostly staying with friends, and it's hard for me to masturbate in someone else's house. Don't hold me to that - I may have done it once in a while. But I'm having a hard time just now. Maybe because my friends have kids; it's just doesn't feel appropriate for a houseguest pushing thirty to be jerking off in a family-filled house. Maybe that's part of the reason people stay in hotels.
Well I've got months to go, maybe, probably, until I land permanently again. So I've been wondering what kind of long term personal erotic strategy I might devise. I mean, I'm getting horny. I've had some cuddling recently, but no genital gratification. I've begun to wonder if this isn't a fabulous chance to practice abstinence, the feeling of sexual conversation. Wee-hoo! Saving all my spunk!
But what's the point of that? I'm 29 years old still, probably with plenty of spunk to spare. So why keep it restrained?
Well, after a few weeks, pulling up some porn and tugging on myself seems like a cop-out. When I wait a long time between ejaculations, I seem to have more fluid that emerges. So shouldn't I share the bounty of a few weeks buildup with a friend? Hah!
Either way I'm getting a bit wound up. I can feel it - like my sexuality gets closer to my skin the longer I go without sensual stimulation. Every once in a while I get a sexy thought and my body floods with feeling. Maybe that's the way I always feel; I'm just imagining more sensitivity as I prolong my gratification. I guess I feel out of touch with myself. And with other people! Huh.Posted by Justin at May 25, 2004 10:43 PM | TrackBack