3 november 1996

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To: scooter Msg: just updated my page. Message sent to scooter. scooter/ [Private]: no im hungry lets bolt. -- #24 Logged on channel 01: vagabond/i know that sound scooter/ [Private]: cool scooter/ [Private]: cool scooter/ [Private]: big type scooter/ [Private]: it says oct 20. you mean 28. -- #25 Logged on channel **: stacy/ scooter/ [Private]: COME im hungry /, Sending private message back to scooter. Msg: I mean 20. I'm going to break chronological sequence. Message sent to scooter. -- #27 Logged on channel 01: owenthomas/ scooter/ [Private]: hmmm. scooter/ [Private]: wacky dude.

nov 3

early wakeup from an agitated rebecca, normally she's quick, firebrandishing, but when she's underfed, or what have you, her agression level is genuinely threatening. her maniacal driving is all the more so and her popoffishness begins to grate
she argues for absolute lack of privacy in society - no protection or provision for privacy of information in the future. I have turned away from this attitude for sensitivity. she's going to write this all up for wired.

so we attended 7th Annual San Francisco Bay Area Book Festival, we few, we happy few (I wonder sometimes if I linger among the savants in most affairs or if I am simply alarmingly self-possessed) but in this crowd, doug steve rebecca and the attractive pisces jenny music writer with coloured nails and yard sale 1$ black old lady purse (my consciousness continues to linger on her - she was cute and comely, enough, and savvy about this world and etc and living with a boyfriend I hear. and so)
we sat in the front row for the two internet panels (of course there to schmooze, mix it up in our field, versus attending the "wild rice" session on asian eroticism) the first panel on cyber rights fine and dandy and I really achieved some sense of appreciation for RU serious
like at the second panel with joey anuff of suck
RU calls himself a media whore, and that's straight cynicism, and joey sez sell out, but when you hear them speak they come from a foundation of ideals and wisdom and consideration and passion even that betrays their lacks I dasiacal and nonchalance. I was impressed.

john alderman moderates, kicks the front of the panel table curtain at times restless, doesn't take an active hand on the tiller
katie hafner not so grit - "those people" "without moral compass" (referring to cyberpunks)
elizabeth weise "feminist" "dyke" so she "needs to process" - got online to breakup with a girlfriend.
RU Serious "High Frontiers" magazine, realizing the builders of the new economy were big psychedlic drug users. he poses himself as knowing societal shakeup early on.
mike godwin is terminally late - he never shows.

katie hafner giving ARPANet history - "it's actually kind of boring."
elizabeth asks who's going to own the backbone? and calls for equality of packets. british telecom buys mci and there's no 1st amendment in britian.
steve scribbles in rebecca's notebook that sex-type stuff will fly, but IRA-type political stuff won't.
webtv has presented urls of core leasees that you can click through without typing on the $95 optional keyboard. "internet for couch potatoes - sit and click" sez elizabeth.
we keep arriving over and over again at $$$ -
RU - "keep convincing people that corporate spoonfed media sucks."
hafner - "well some of us work there - and it's not that bad."

I'm quite hungry.

long text vs. many text -
reading books online versus many pages of different e-mail.

intelligent life in cyberspace?

joey actually might have carried the second panel on publishing if gary wolf did not still have an edge. david talbot of salon was fairly unlikeable, I mean pleasant and all but he somehow plugged the reader forum of salon in each and every comment and generally seeming arrogant
swallowtail was quite articulate,
rebecca kept raving at me about the gnn guy, cuz he paid his contributors (her) well enough
suck ethic from joey - "with 55 million web pages it makes sense to be as ruthless as possible."

everyone up there has a long thin nose.

gary calls suck "deceptively lowbrow" - they have a nice tete-a-tete goin'
joey sez, "publish - just because you can."
all magazines presented start with an "S" - suck slate salon swallowtail
rebecca articulates a long strident question -

gary sez "so you want to get paid for writing about socialism."
no, there's no federal grant or pbs type system for supporting alternative voices.

talbot sez it's a marketplace of ideas, a meritocracy
joey sez, hah, "with a huge amount of money you can masquerade as a zine."
and, in terms of copyrights, "for the record, we've never published anything worth ripping off"
paul of swallowtail shares this internet truism "property gains value by circulation, not by accumulation."

each of us took a turn up in front, leaning near the podium speaking or long question
there are a lot of other queries and quotationers - it's a big self promotion fest here!
I was eventually compelled to stand and talk fast about the sharing potential and glory of rapid publishing

at rebecca's apartment, clutter and animals full I mean chaos like I haven't witnessed recently and have actually distanced myself pretty far from in the last few months
I currently prefer not to maintain everything on the teetering edge of the table, of sanity, of space to exist
while it's at once admittedly reflective of the state of most life
dinner at pasta pomodoro
arguement over proof of self "I just want a gig" she sez
but seems she's blantantly carrying a larger chip on her shoulder

some esteem issues

afterwards, like halloween, I discover that there really is something wonderful to walking like an old man. the spedd.

I get doug on tape for 1 hour 10 minutes, the most ever for him he sez.

filmmaker spends time on the other side of the camera for a reason.
then we recap the documentary he didn't want me to have the url so I wouldn't know the role I was to play but I seem to take it well like process of unpacking thoughts on camera as opposed to starstruckedness
he gives people a chance for more taping to save their image
carew came off well he sez
I realize I might watch this and cry - I think about documenting a period of my life well it might make me sad
he talks about my transformation, I talk slower, my hair is gone, I have a job, my web page sentences are full
on camera I threw the i ching for "how should I consider the coming year?

25. fidelity (1,2,4 changing) becomes 59. dispersal

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