Comments on a home for bloody nipples
commentson 25 July 2004 : 01:51, diggity sez:

so when you say "long draw toilet" do you mean a low-flow?

If that's what you meant then I have to say those things suck!, wait...they DONT suck. That's the problem. YOu won't save a penny on them because it takes three or four flushes to get the crap down the drain properly.

We have one here at the house. We've adjusted it a million times. We're not above average shitters or anything. just your normal folks with normal poops.

Still we have problems with clogs continuously. Our construction guru said the low-flows don't really build up enough pressure because there's not enough water in the tank! Go figure. So what you save by having low-flow, you waste by flushing the damn thing three times for every single dump.

Can you tell this bothers me?

commentson 25 July 2004 : 02:42, justin sez:

By long draw I mean the length of the toilet bowl - Many toilets are a small, rounded circle. And that's fine, appropriate for smaller bathrooms maybe. But often the tip of my penis hits the front of a small toilet bowl, when I'm sitting down. And that's not pleasant. "Long-draw" was what one plumber told me I wanted - at least that's how I remember it - the more elliptical bowl shape, enlongated so dangling privates don't brush porcelain.

commentson 25 July 2004 : 02:53, Tibor sez:


about trying to connect with the too-cool folks: the place where I work is one of the few new economy survivors here in Germany. We now have some 400+ employees, so the company is doing quite well, you could say. Point is, we have all kinds of people there. The really hot looking girls from the sales-dept in their high heels, short skirts. The long haired über-geeks still stuck in their all black phase, wearing combat boots and metallica tour shirts. Family fathers. Elderly women, trying to keep with the insanely young and hot looking 20+ students working at support or the call center, dressing and behaving like elderly bitches...

...point is: you have a lot of groups to choose from. I'm the type of guy who always was accepted at almost any kind of group. This was the case at school, while studying and now it's the same at work. The super cool always accepted me as a member of their group at first sight. Almost the same with the geeks. But after a while hanging out with folks of one or the other group, none of the both worked out for me. I'm no geek and I'm no too-cool guy either. After a while I find that out. So does the group.

To bring this to an end: my suggestion is to learn to distinguish people. That means that you have to judge people (by their cover) the first couple of times you meet them. Then decide if the person you met could be someone at the same level as you are. What level? Intellectual, cultural, social. Interrests. Personal history. If your levels don´t match with the other persons, just forget about them. At least, after you had your one night stand with the person, hahaha.


commentson 25 July 2004 : 16:38, jose sez:

hahahah. good one. using people is so funny!


commentson 26 July 2004 : 06:11, p sez:

the old justin is back! these kinds of posts, exploring the world, poetic commentary and life philosophy - they nearly disappeared when jane was around. i'm happy to be reading this website again.

commentson 26 July 2004 : 07:50, Liza sez:

Those toilets are also called elongated.

commentson 26 July 2004 : 08:00, justin sez:

Thanks for that link Liza - that's an exciting looking toilet, like parking my rear on a roman temple perhaps. I saw a toilet shaped like a lily at the plumbing supply store -

I would love to be more playful with my toilets, but I've had to choose something more low-profile. This is what I'm looking at now - the place I'm moving in to is incredible compact. Standing in front of the toilet bowl, you can look through the living room out the front door to the street. Sitting on the toilet bowl, you can't close or open the bathroom door! Without bloodying your knees. So I'm looking for a long-draw, yes, but something under 30" total length.

commentson 26 July 2004 : 08:01, Don Wrege sez:

"I went around introducing myself to people and making chit-chat. People were not very friendly to me! It was kind of disheartening. I didn't lie or drink enough, I suspect."

In LA, if you introduce yourself, you've already announced that you're uncool.

You need to assume an attitude of "hipper than thou," otherwise you'll have the stench of ordinariness and you will be a social pariah.

In LA people go to parties not because they *want* to attend, but simply because they *can* and others cannot. To be on the right side of the velvet rope is the holy grail of Hollywood.

If you don't act like a star (aloof, mysterious) you will be perceived as a tourist (eager, innocent). Tourists are filler.

If you aren't jaded yet, for god's sake Justin, learn to act jaded.

You are in the capital of plastic. You're acting real and wondering why it isn't coming across. Silly boy.

Soon you'll learn the art of commencing relationships (forget friendships) based on nothing more than "will this help my career?" Those who cannot further your professional interests you'll lose interest in. Or die (stay common...which is as good as death). That's survival out there. And that's if some half-crazed illegal doesn't t-bone your car.

Welcome to LA.


Don Wrege
Boulder, CO

p.s. re: "long-draw toilet" - I don't want Little Elvis to be drooping too close to the water any more than I want it touching porcelain. I suggest a short-draw and hanging The Hindenberg and The Boys over the front, aided by a couple of sheets of double-ply.

commentson 26 July 2004 : 08:34, justin sez:

You're amusing Don - thanks for this "reality check"

I will continue to struggle to manifest the reality I want to live in - at least for the next week. Then we'll see about acting jaded. I think I'd rather stay home than go out and act jaded tho.

commentson 27 July 2004 : 11:32, Liza sez:

Justin, that looks like a nice toilet. I am not a fan of a one piece toilet but that fairs up nicely. I like the tank to be separate from the bowl, but then again I am old fashioned even though I am only 26.

commentson 27 July 2004 : 14:10, jah2 sez:


I think you went out to a really horrible place. It sounds like you went out on the Sunset Strip or maybe some of those new clubs around Hollywood Boulevard. I suggest you try again someplace less fucked up with fewer star-fuckers and wannabies. You aren't going to find meaningful friendships on a Tuesday night at Nacional, you're just going to find Soap Opera stars stacked up on the sidewalk bitching "Now we'll NEVER get in" when members of N'Sync or Paris Hilton rolls up. If you DO get dragged to a place like that then worry WAY less about what other people think of you. If people are mean to you, then there's something wrong with THEM for going to some place that promotes that kind of atmosphere and participating in a bitchy game of exclusion ...and derision aint cool, it's desperate and vapid. The thing is, you have to KNOW that you're a fabulous and amazing person (AND YOU ARE) and you have to let shit like that roll off your back.

Once I was sent to the taping of a tv show where one of the bands on our record label was performing and was sent to the green room since they didn't have tickets or seats for us. I walked in and introduced myself and told them that I worked for their label and that I loved their music and was a huge fan and was there to see their performance on the show. Bitchily, they just stared at me silently. "OK. I guess you don't like me so I'm just going to help myself to your beer and food and enjoy your music rather than your personalities," I said as I flung open the fridge and cracked a beer flopping down on the couch. This actually broke the ice and we started jibber-jabbering for an hour before they went on and they went on to complain that everyone in LA was "fake and stupid", yeah, right...we all have boobjobs and bleach our teeth and we want to be actors and we're mean to mean rock bands and nice people. OK.

YOU ARE COOL so don't let other people tell you that you're not and don't have social anxiety. Nothing diffuses that more than confidence. Maybe I'm arrogant, maybe I'm clueless and maybe I've hung out with too many gay men for too long that dote on me and tell me how "fierce" and "fabulous" I am (although I doubt it)but I rarely feel uncomfortable in places where people try and intimidate me into feeling uncool, or unlike them. Know who you are, like who you are and don't hole up like a hobbit, ok? ...and if someone is a dick to you, you can always call me and I have bitchy comebacks for every occasion.
-(the other) JAH

commentson 27 July 2004 : 22:57, ceecee sez:

with respect to your last post and those plastic club people. not that you necessarily care about them but just as a reminder as you make your way through the steets of LA. i am not a normal visitor i don't think because i had never heard of your site before a couple of weeks ago and i just happened across it very randomly. but since then i sometimes tap into it when i am just bored and doing homework and feel like being reminded there are interesting people in the world. i mostly have read your older stuff and this is the first time i read anything recent, but i've noticed sometimes i can't get your writing (and so i guess that's you) out of my head for days. those plastic hotties could never say the same.

commentson 1 August 2004 : 14:52, cutters sez:

L.A. was a much friendlier place before computers. Us geeks now want to talk about things that really do not interest those who drink and lie. Oh well. Time to start drinking.

February 2005 - comments are closed on Thanks.