Justin Hall's personal site growing & breaking down since 1994

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dreamin'

after much roasted garlic, sleeping in the elk mountain lodge in crested butte, my last night at the digital storytelling festival.
feeling upset as I was questioning my sexuality,
howard joins gk and friends
on a low class rampage to prove my roots and crowd snobbish
I mean rough and tumble neighborhoods
the whole thing is making me uncomfortable
on top of that, howard is making miserable computer jokes
none of the kids are into him

at a large house party
elegantly attired folks of all walks of life
I meet some young latinas who are into my page
and as I wonder for a place to leave my media making equipment
and stray conversation
the party is over and I am run so late, alone

then we are back in the gk mobile
a large american white convertible
megan is in there, she's excited

somehow I'm talking to travis, I say
I think I'm questioning my sexuality
or rather, I never get to say it
because travis,
who is arrayed as a haight street punk
lighter heads pressed into his clothing,
metal studs
is necking a skater dude
comes up for air,
I'm on acid man

turns out the car we had was somehow stolen
or had to be returned
like to the father of the young girl who had loaned us the car

some doubt as to whether I stay there
at the house
I jump in another pilfered car
smoke some dope in the backsteat
and muse with the rest of them

we return to the party site
and I am setting up stuff
seth has a tobacco sales business languishing in his absence
I take it over
take the sign, "100% tobacco"
I feel bad about selling that stuff
I find a hose, I'm going to give water away
the hose is spewing water wildly
other guests tell me
I have to watch out not to get tupac shakur's notebook wet

more daddy's car weirdness
as we wait for a girlfriend to fix a limosuine liscence plate cover before her father finds out
but a nother girl pulls up
daddy comes out
he's talking to that girl
who kisses him
as his daughter begins to rub his bulging groin through his green pants

driving through berkeley
sitting next to caleb
there are joints
someone turns from the front seat
to pour into a drink I am sharing with him from a thermos
hot, tamari amino acid drink
they add a little spirulina
and the cops come through
literally squeeze through the car
they send a little child, back through the car, out like hermes through the rear left door
who identifies the spirulina drink stuff as illegal
but only the least of it

my friends disappear and I am arrested
for lsd possession
incarcerated somewhere
talking to an older eastern european guy with no sympathy

I didn't have any acid!
well, they planted it. and who's going to believe you

I haven't taken acid since
well then I remember the recent public ren faire posting of my half tab taken

talking to a case officer
there is an older female friend of mine there
but I don't know who

but I'm doing all this work and I have a righteous life!
you can argue that with the judge.

I realize I am at least in for 1-3 years
probably 3
and I begin to moan
to moan to cry to weep
that there is a year I am to spend in jail
that I am utterly screwed

I try to make a lesson of it
and I realize they won't let me have a computer

the case worker is a little compassionate
struck at the force of my denial
bordering on contempt of court

I begin to tour my life picking up pieces with the friend and the case worker

case officer at my grandparents house
my grandfather enters walking in his funny old man way
my grandmother enters, into the room where I have been throwing around blankets in wild sobbing protest
she heads straight to the teevee
jumped on by their giant black dog
"seed"
there is another dog with large puffy hair
the big dog deflates it all with a finger
the puffy dog sez "pride, pride" growling
the case worker has her face covered sitting on an easy chair
doesn't see my quaint gpa walk and the rest of it

I'm in a cell, trying to understand
a glib court appointed lawyer enters
I wonder about my family

incarcerated, poolside,
large red books and a loudspeaker annnouce
there is an ambassador training course done here
all these foreign women in bloated prom dresses
laying on the water speaking in french to prisoners

someone notes that I am working with howard rheingold, a leader in digital culture
and I wonder if he will have to talk about his experience with acid at all

I go to the public library to mock up my web page with an appeal for reason or writing,
the plug is pulled on my by an employee
I am to be kept from the internet.

I wake at 6am.
so happy to realize it was a dream
troubled over the implications
unless it was a backcountry gourmet late night feed followup.
I ate a ton of roasted garlic.

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