A Curious Question

I registered myself on AdultFriendFinder, with a picture or two and some basic info. As I wrote before, I've gotten some lively offers - not exactly the sorts of relational transactions I envisioned when I enrolled. So, I could say, horizon expanding!

This evening, a 30ish man from Sacramento (without a picture posted himself) emailed with a question for me: "Hey bro, Hope I'm not offending you, But would you ever consider letting a duds suck you off? Discreet masculine jock firefighter here. ALso love to share pussy."

Well, there's something to think about. Again. Why not let somebody suck you off? That presumes the "off" or "suck" part of it gives pleasure - "off" is more of a concern for me. I think a bit about sperm retention, like any normal person. But more than that, I think about "suck on" versus "suck off." There's few non-reciprochal sexual relations. Aren't there? I've had friends offer me sexual pleasure before, without my hands or face able to do nothing. And that was fun I guess! But it took a long time for me to relax. And then I felt almost guilty at the end. Wasn't I supposed to do something? Isn't sex an exchange?

Either way, I'm not sure I'm ready to explore these questions with a 8.5" thick and cut firefighter. At least that's what his profile says. I feel like I'm being coy. It's strange for me to think that I would turn down these offers. Perhaps this is some insight into women's default posture ("talk to the hand"), at least as women's sexuality has been traditionally framed. I've been thinking about how I feel sometimes between masculine and feminine. Wearing makeup, dressing tough, mixing things up. On AdultFriendFinder, I'm actually finding the post-op transsexuals more attractive as potential dates than the thick cut firefighters.