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eggsez: hello justinterpol, egg here. How many times do I have to listen to you bitch about my smoking habit and then listen to you peck peck peckering away at this machine and then listen to you whine and complain about your aching arms and beg me to rub you when the commercials come on? You get so cranky when you see me smoke, and you ask me you're just like my mom in 10th grade why do I want to kill myself, and you say you aren't thrilled about taking care of an emphysemic in the future, well you won't see me in my lavender-haired days carting your ass through the produce aisle and wiping your ass in the bathroom and wanking you with one hand while click-and-dragging with the other, no no way, just as you have no desire for a lung cripple, I'm not panting for you to share my set of arms.
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september 15alright you punk reader, let's see how you do:
yesterday i spent the hell of my day in public actually as maximum public as one can get - in the DMV. department of motor vehicles. do supermodels have to go to get their own driver's licenses?
certainly enormous guys who never stopped partying after school now with two DUIs trying to register an impounded motorcycle,
they're at the DMV, in line ahead of me. he smelled like my dad, alcoholic, only dirtier.
the staff are built like big punisher's sisters.
big punisher:
read his bio
lower left corner pull down.
the lines, if you arrive after 8.30am, the lines are positively soviet. we're talking twenty minutes just for the information line. then an hour and a half for vehicle registration, and another hour plus for a license.
tattered photocopied signs adorn concrete posts: "it's a felony to assault a state worker." there are two short benches, bolted to the floors. scores of people of all colours tapping their feet or talking about president clinton that's the oakland DMV.
so today, upon Lynn's recommendation, i headed out to a DMV in Marin instead, for faster service.
the facility was immaculate. no line was longer than ten people. the facility was new. courteous employees discharged their duties without the kind of odd grudge a few of the oakland ladies seemed to have - there was none of the perverse pleasure in the fact that you had forgotten your vehicle smog reciept.
i waited in line for ten minutes, and commenced to fail my written california drivers exam twice.
for shit's sake. there's so many idiots on the road. i guess i'm dumber than most. i skimmed the book even! twice!
Which of these statements is true about light rail vehicles?
Light rail vehicles do not have the same responsibilities as other vehicles on public roadways
Light rail vehicles can preempt traffic signals
You must always pass a light rail vehicle on the right.
i'm not even gonna share the right answer here, because i disagree with their intepretation.Which of these statements is true about seat belts?but i guess you're not supposed to think that hard. and you're also not supposed to fail more than three times, because then you have to invite bob into your car to watch you forget to signal for a lane change or look both ways before parking.
so, oy, shit. jesus.
The back seat is generally not the safest place in the car for all children 12 and younger
Babies should not ride in the front seat in vehicles with passenger-side air bags
Children age 1 or older and over 20 lbs. should ride buckled up in the front seat
maybe the driving test in Marin is harder than the one in Oakland. i got one mo' chance to find out.
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justin hall | <justin at bud dot com>