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13 december

10pm, grampa calls, he wants me to return thanks,
because you did such a good job the last time.

that's touching.

he apologized for not sending my birthday card, he didn't have my address.
that gave me a nice opportunity to apologize for not sending my writings for his turning 90 on the 6th.
we agreed to exchange greetings when we see each other in stuart later this month.

i have a hard time giving cards,
all hallmark does is draw a picture and write something nice, why can't i do that myself? so because i'm busy i usually do nothing, but sometimes i do something thoughtful. i think i feel okay about doing something creative or nothing at all, but i think my relatives expect drug store kindnesses with a few lines of added personal postscript.

my mom mailed me my birthday card six days early. whew! see, she's efficient and gets things done. me, i called my grampa and interviewed him on my radio show (he was unaware of the listening audience. they loved the way he said "beeeutiful." and when i asked about living with versus marrying amy, he said, "well, it's good to hear you're keeping company," and suggested that we not marry until we have individuated incomes.

i will be in stuart nebraska for christmas this year,
george's daughter is sick, so he'll be with her in maine, and his kids will join them.
the hall/mcclurg family will unite on the day of gifting in stuart, nebraska, population 640 (last time i checked, in the eighties). two grocery stores, two bars, two churches - protestant/catholic.

gramma's in the rest home there, grampa has an apartment on the premises. we will stay in the newly available only motel in town - i think we have to pick up the keys at "the pit stop," a gas station/general store where grampa and i used to buy nightcrawlers to use for bait.

other than that, it's final exams/paper writing time here.
i think i get better at it as i am a student.
but there is always a lot. that's the compensation - you get better at it, so you take on more.

for example, for technology self and society, i composed an 11 minute piece of music from CD and LP samples - up to eight tracks playing at once, which i'll be dancing to. and then i have to write a paper summarizing the whole thing.

introduction to economics, i have a final exam, and i am writing a paper on the new economy, with darn near all my sources online. seems rewired and feed have both taken up the subject recently, and paul krugman is to be respected for maintaining a useful and comprehensive and personal! site with his accessible writings on current economics. nice to have chosen a topic that is in currency - i'm informed on a larger discussion even though i'm out here in the boonies with regards to technology/society/policy. oh the wonders of lurking virtual communities!

world dance forms, i finished my performance review paper on "ambient dance" about a nice piece by a nice guy but it was just hard to sit and watch evolutionary forms so i compared it to ambient music which i also have a hard time spectating it being performed. the last time was in golden gate park, nick philip spun, nice mood, nice folk, we sat on blankets and i met m normal and generally talked with cyborganic people. but this performance of ambient dance was less picnicy. he begged my attention for something atmospheric and extended. oy.

kelemen and computer science continues to break my back. have a final project to code in C, an anagram dictionary creation assignment. fortunately, i think i have a smart partner, though perhaps with equally dispersed work habits, neil epstein. a math major. math and meaning context and media, nice intellectual balance, right?

mousy launched, my girlie and a few of her roomies/friends are therein.
i think the site looks nice, and has some good articles on undercovered stuff, but the "we've published" format leaves a little lacking - i get the sense from visiting that it will probably be the same the next time i go back. at least provide the illusion of dynamism! or i need to chill out.

and who am i to talk? i'm doing about 10 days between publishings here.

though i did update law and astrology yesterday.
note to my readers: expect more frequent updates if when i make this site my full time jobb.

after more than a year, i think amy and i have moved past the point of daily urgency. we're just too busy to worry that much/that way about each other, and having appreciated each other for that long, it's too familiar to stress about. so instead we stress about what each of us is doing after school, with money, where, when we can be together, etc.

i have a 4x3 foot whiteboard up above my bed here at swarthmore,
(i would have 6x4, but it costed $100),
i have started the information architecture for my thesis. since i think in web terms, i'm writing it as a web page. that's both freeing and frustrating. hard to have cucurrent trains of thought in different directories. makes me respect a little more ted nelson's dreams of hypertextual flexibility.

so far, my working thesis title:

formations of meaning.

redship gk and i got in a lil' discusdebate tonight;
he admires other small publishers, zine folk, dishwasher pete,
his mind is not for sale - he searches payphones for change
and sent an imposter pete to the letterman show.
me, i've chosen - i want to have a home, an art studio, tools,
that means i have to look for more cash.
if telia offers me cashmoney to come talk humanish computing in sweden, am i sold out?
man, i got to pay mah bills!

but, gk argues, they are using me to promote technology.
and i am using them to promote (insert my beliefs here)
if i think technology is inevitable, is it better to promote compassionate use?
that's a crap surrender.
we have to make choices.

choose to give the best of temp slave this holiday season!

thinkin' about movies;
do any sequels accomplish anything engaging?
i want to see a sequal to apocalypse now -
"apocalypse again - return to the river."

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