(sarcastic)colin is pissed I'm the wall street journal and he busts his ass in business
an absent member is the brunt of jokes for want of task completionreturn from mills in the morning
I'm a commuter to
minds design meeting
when do we start our redesign? howard
like elaborate on the cutesy names
I agree - good to push the envelope
abbe and jim say jan 6
I announce my departure
howard moves for a minds jump out
like when you leave a gang
vjim taking photos with his nice new camera
but not of abbe - she has to take her glasses off
we're a small company but we don't turn on a dime
having a president will solve it
they will be able to order us to turn on a dime
howard discourses on value of advance prepwork for benefit of jill
talking about world wide jam
howard gets distracted looking at site stats
my ball rotation annoys abbe
people want in-house copy editor full time employee
everything is connected to we don't have enough room
vagabond and abbe defend staunchly "the process" "the process"
these people are really invested and intense about this shit
they have to defend themselves
two weeks to get content from contributors to posting is a long time
this is the web
burst into hilarity discussing primadonnas and friends
calling alan k for wine advice and a message for [his daughter] chandra
task I was asked to do for eminds:
read through the virtual community and link relevant persons and passages
I have been proceeding on a slow schedule, to accomodate my design and production work on world wide jam, and my hands and general availability
status report today from my project jefe jill sends howard into a tizzy - another example this is of my failure to follow through and general excuse making lollygagging
it's so absurd I give up, or rather, I'm pissed not defensive
feels more mature like that
jill steps up to write a defense of me some, and a deference to howard some
I call our loose cannon, cuz once it reaches the disappointment stage, it's got to be hands on managed
perhaps my lesson of life
I am a far better inititator
I apply myself to the task of learning to focus,
but it grows clearer that this is not my lot
so I have made a flexible schedule to finish that his delegated authorities have validated
he mentions wondering if he has failed as a teacher
he must forgive himself for his workload and the intense rooming situation
he spent these few months schooling himself mostly it seems
so to malleate this maverick is a little much
but perhaps it could have been something
but this is not an end, merely a sign,
this is not his process
we will work together on writing. nit-picking the pace of a project is not conducive
besides, I own this project, I will see something satisfying before I leave and
reading about william randolph hearst is a dangerous way to form vision for future publishing endeavours. by the middle of the book, I'm pretty well alienated.
carew is proxying my room choice
I am lotteried 30 of 42, for 68 rooms
but many many of those choices are either closets or living with freshfolk unknown and sharing
so I snob some, and inward resign myself to monasticism
make the best of what I get I shall
I look forward to my radio show
hah - I could live with wilson
but I have to live on the ethernet
fate is operating a plan for me
but there is within his first entres the seed of something active - that by publishing agressively you can shape and direct community
a few of my frustrations with swarthmore could be leavened by saluting the joys they smother
I have, increasingly, less heart for attacking situations; it requires an essentializing simplicity. you can get people to follow by explaining things as life and death, but you risk having to deal with the fall out.
I have the potential to be that kind of leader, but I've lost my heart and my stomach for it. either that or there's nothing that clear to me. there is such a myriad of reasons for everything, and such a present downside to every victory
am I saying that battle is not worth persuing?
I wonder that taking up fighting words with swarthmore hypocrisy is a noble and fair and romantic notion from a come-california boy looking to keep his spirits up and focused after all he'll leave behind
if I sustain this vision through hardship I am become responsible for perhaps falling prey to illusion, driven by my pride and need
and woe to ask someones with me
and now tonight I picture myself better in my closet reading, writing, studying, visiting friends quietlyal decker returns my call, I left him voicemail in vancouver, message sahe was in tucson
people can come to my room and ask me about the web, like I'll be some old man and relic not really useful for modern day development of cutting edge content packaging
content to have other folks teach and publish
I feel increasingly awed by the task of effective study
and maybe I'll write some science/fiction.
I'm sure it will wear off tomorrow.
and of course the best plan is to acknowledge that while this hedging and wandering makes for good web and worry
the best plan is to proceed to school with an open mind anticipating potentials.
he's actually in oakland, he invites me to a party tomorrow night, before he goes to london.
abbe advises time in the library studying the history of hypermedia multithreaded discussions with meta-commentaryworking on some writing for eminds, my next article, I write this sentence about what I have to show for recent months:
poor fools with brown university with big funding from apple computer couldn't make it so
I can either struggle with pride
or find out what they did so I don't relive the same errors.
she has a point.
a 40 page start on a fevered yet disjointed pamphlet,
and I'm tired of sitting on it and I hope someone might find it useful or inspiring, and either way I should probably set it free in some form,
so I posted it for download.
I tried to write something extended to (self)publish in print.
if you have the patience or interest to wade through
a 68k draft of manifold manifest: a young person's information appliance
I'd love feedback. I hope someone is helped.
working later and later, until its half past three,
abbe's giving me a rain ride home
surfing wired news, seems cool, even interesting
thot of writing louis a note to tell him as much
and ask what the hell he's doing with his signature on subscription renewal notices asking me if I'm part of the steamroller or part of the road?