Justin Hall's personal site growing & breaking down since 1994

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august 19

pardon this foresaken medium
so rarely do I download my breain these days that this is become an event
not altogether a bed thing
and were things what they will be
I might have chosen such a thing
as it is, I am just keeping my instincts from permanent pain and disability

disab
can't create
with tools I mean
masturbate
autostimulate
or finger to fancy
too fancy craft
so I even drove fast, dumb
got to spurt, somehow
not used to being 21 years old with sedentary enforcement
leaves me here, left me there yesterday contemplating all the can'ts
can't paint, lift weights, do pull ups, push ups
I can cook
I can sew, some
sculpt perhaps
can't write any damn long thing
I can passive aggravate
I can spend money

but today I again resigned myself to the myriad of choices
as my mother encourages me to seek more physical therapy
and jennifer sez it's a message from god
and howard, who was saying it's like an opportunity missed that I didn't already put out for voice processing
is now say that my options are high
but I've got to learn mastery, have started mastery
of writing
or else I could end up never being
too many paths, a river takes them all and ends up in a desert
I, howard, am in the process of becoming
spending money
typing a little
as you nag me
and we share jamacian creole mexican indian dinner at avatar's

is it good to type with ice packs on my hands?
I suspect not.
to jerk myself? to eat beef?
where's my compass
awaiting a 500 microgram jolt?
or solitude, wherein I resist the urge
great god's urge

fashion the world in my own image
only vague brushstrokes
today I decided to make haiku
daily, daze

managed 3 links therein

lord knows why I mechwar
or potentially worship only perry
or contemplate three way temple sex between today our holy visitor
or don't just hurl myself into the girl who actually honked at me
taya made recollection, from waiting on me begrudging

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justin hall | <justin at bud dot com>