18 june 1996

18 june, 1996

I have played a fair number of stand up video games on this trip
old star wars ray trace is home

riding a modern bus, with media
say anything on the tube
followed by buswide radio

ug.
I'd rather people talking, somehow less pervasive
at least not in this moment

ug.
anyways, say anything has wonderful dialogue intelligent scripting and actual veracity of both adolescence and humanity
a good movie
made me think of "love" and attachment
became apparent to me all at once that love is need
they are equal
we reach out with out love for
love is a demand
something like you need to sit on for some time, make sure it's right, let it develop into something more mature
but I'm thinking that I want to cultivate a broader love
keeping my specific needs to myself
refusing sex and attachment
in favour of species wide advancement
I love you all
and there's where my energy goes
and there's my demands

what else is there besides helping people?
and part of this is a reaction to my immortal bride beloved bullshit
she does not exist anywhere else besides the future
I'll be eighty, carressing deep wrinkles

so I land in chyanne unremarkable
everywhere is fast food
I've lost my ameripass - unlimited bus travel coupon
it expired tomorrow,
all I have is the number
see, in boulder they said I could ride to chyanne and try to use my number to get my ticket to utah there
in chyanne they tol me it's a no go
right after this young guy in sunglasses sez
I heard you're going to salt lake
we're headed that way too - if you need a ride, give us $15 for gas and we're good to go.
so I go to get my bag off the bus, see whas happenin'
bus driver sez, no, gotta give me a ticket for between boulder and here before I'll let you take your bag
so I sorta took my bag anyways
jumped in the car with the fellas
a freeloading fugitive from greyhound.

so roger jeff and jeff
three surfers from detroit driving to baja california

to santa rosita goin surf and fish and etc
buying cases of beer cuz salt lake city public sale beer is $2 a can, and 3.2% alcohol
ralph saad is 27
emerges early as the leader
this is his '86 isuzu trooper

tales of baja to come
hanging with mexican fishermen
all the drugs you want
even in salt lake because of mexican immigrants
all over the southwest, because there arin't too many blacks so the mexicans do all the labour
on highway 70 - random drug searches for columbians between la and new york
I'm seated next to jeff juip
used computers for cad work at architecture college
built installation type stuff with found objects from an airplane graveyard

creativity is everywhere
somehow we get talking about the internet
encountering some opposition to my internet could free our publishment tendencies
I push into revolutionary mode

what it is is up to us

and what it is could be cool
they drop out of the arguement
I'm like a streetcorner shouter
roger wuz goin' get his phd in history didn't
wanted to teach but fuck academia - bullshit frustration
so wuz goin' write a book about road livin'
how to hack an american travel existence on $200 a month
all the scams

but then he realized it's a hush hush thing
do it and be cool with it
don't publicize private land hangouts, blm places, road scams

they'll be overran and useless
for me my urge to share everything fun and great

at least in this discussion ideal
is tough to counter
it's that old price of democracy thing -

sharing everything can kind of suck
versus elitism?
if you take a lifestyle and make it public then you can start a movement
beats wrote and watered down, democritized their momentum
the hippies pickt it up full force
watered it down further, democritized it
and now today I can walk into wyoming with this hairstyle and not get the shit beaten out of me

some silence thereafter.
roger is back on stage some minutes later
I'm deferring to his health, wisdom
uses hoofmaker for hand thickening for rockclimbing

sounds trippy, worth a try
he looks to food as fuel so he eats it sometimes as filler

focus on vitamin supplements
I offer shots of kava^2
roger identifies it as an alkalyne like cocaine
tales of roger and me std

we both had the same nonspecific
bear sighting reported on the cb
I thought they were talking about wildlife
consume hash, burn it up into a bottle
then you can even freeze the bottle and drink the cooled smoke later
we can't find the shift cd
so monster magnet breaking my ears
sinclair wyoming got an oil refinery in their backyard
skeletal tumble weeds and seagulls at a roadside wendy's
local culture, yeah right
I get salad bar, one trip, the fellas eat baconmulticheeseburgers
hard to smell and resist
but eyeing the bacon looks from an anorexic pig

and they feel immediately slowed regretful

coincidental naps
cool shit -
roger's got an ac adapter for the car lighter
jeff works on my pooter, makin some pix with painter

southwestern wyoming and the rocks are getting dramatic
to have coverred the land by road is something important

loaded v4 the top speed pushing 65, downhill
windows rolled down I'm constantly backseat whipped and deaf
transport allround trains trucks dot works in constant motion mirrororing with man's layer the constant motion of mo nature
roger - mass of folks are sheep in this police state

do you act to make a difference?
then you're invested.

what else would you do?
see.
how many people really see?

fashion is manifest coming together of culture
fashion is to have sex.

never heard from black folks in media decades back
black people are exploited

still they're talking, and what's come?

internet publishment widespreading paradigm
people don't want to read
information versus entertainment

and the answer is go to india

inside lanes all the way into the valley
9 pm still light arrival
roger attests to prettiest girls in the world here

hottest and prettiest
lawns being watered
so I am semi-ceremoniously deposited at a coffee shop
I have the feeling they're glad to rid of me
just a little too weird, too dogmatic too intense to bear unmet for seven plus hours across desolate wyoming
I give them an extra $5

- have a feast on me in mexico.

phonecalled quick pickup
jack mormons eric and collette
not quite signed off but certainly not practicing
in terms of discussion and local orientation it's hard to escape the mormons as topic of conversation
up on a hill overlooking the city, state legislating against (gay) support groups in public high schools
70% of the state is mormon, but less than 50% salt lake is
byu is intensely so - rules, underlying except to be used against the weird

though there a surprising thriving gay culture
in terms of the net, folks have to surf through screened proxy byu servers
collette was a student - no long hair on the guys
bars here are private clubs so folks can smoke and drink
eric is most immediate gregarious obliging host opening doors and offering
collette works at a local eatery, we pick up food on her tab
their part of a house is in a quiet well hydrated neighborhood
collete has a sizeable pez dispenser collection
we meet their neighbors are funny friendly young jack mormons as well

phil and christian
so far roger's right - these women are very very pretty.

vivacious.

theirin my first hearing of the urge porno for pyros album
they entertain hours of road stories and future plans
phil plays william burroughs voice he gets a kick of him singing fuck me kitty on x files album and works at the last locally owned radio station in salt lake x96

these white folks is so earnest

offerin me cake and drink and seats and

they was raised well, you can tell
somehow enroute I ripped my courduroys

means cloth of the king in french
in the trooper I duct taped them
landed for the night I sew the hole.
two thirty finds me with colette's gold permanent pen
chanelling alien toungue onto my computer case.

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